most of these suck and have no titles but oh well its my journal i'll stick whatever the hell i please in it haha

~hold me~
hold me a little closer
make me drown in you
so that i cannot remember
the things i used to do
you told me that you saw the scars
and you wished them all away
only for me to wake up
and still have them the next day
when you told me that theyd be gone
i believed your every word
but i guess i should have listened
rather than just have heard
you want them to dissapear
it would make things better for you
cuz when other people stare at us
loving me is a hard thing to do
just because they know my past
they have no real reason to talk
because they dont know who i am now
i no longer crawl, i now walk
so hold me a little closer
drown all of me in you
so that i cannot remember
what they know i used to do

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

~worlds away~
it isnt that you dont care
its just that you dont talk
you never tell me how you feel
never hold hands when we walk
its like im all by myself
when youre walking by my side
its like you have never cared
and were just along for the ride
almost like youve never seen
the love thats in my eyes
like you never held me tight
just to help control my cries
youve been through so much
and all of it was for me
now you seem worlds away
from where you always used to be

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

i need to know whats going on
whats running through your mind
just keep sweet-talking me
begin leaving her behind
but then she comes up again
youre talking on the phone
she saids that she needs you back
because she is all alone
and i see it in your eyes
you want to be there with her
i know that look all too well
she is the one you really live for
so i let you leave once again
and you go and have your fun
then give her another broken heart
tell her that its over, youre done
you come crawling back to me
and i welcome you with open arms
i never could say no to you
maybe its because of your charm...
but needless to say i let you in
and we go back to the way it was
almost like we never did end
up until the next phone call comes
and you leave to break another heart
i will give you all of my love
and we'll go right back to start

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

i dont know if it is that i am blind
or its just that everyone else can see
they say theres nothing real
when it comes to you and me
and tell me youve been talking and
we're nothing more than good friends
if thats the case then why are you here?
are you pretending that you care?
i mean, why waste your time on me?
im learning more that life is so unfair
after giving you all ive ever had
every last piece of my heart ive got
you just turn your back to me
i thought you loved me, but i guess not...
how you could just throw it all away
is pretty amazing to me
especially after spending so much time
it seemed we were meant to be
you look at me, with tearfilled eyes
and then you start to apologize
you used to love me with all your heart
but youre not good at goodbyes

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

please just take it all away
i never want to remember again
never was a happy person
even way back when
but when i look back
and the past flashes so clear
its almost like a panic attack
then you hold me near

while taking it all away
helping me just forget
and i sit, pressed to your chest
as i wipe my tears away
you always did seem to know me best
the only one who ever wanted to stay

i smile at you as i start to pull away
and you pull me closer and just hold me
making sure that the feeling wont fade
its almost like you paralyze
all of what was my pain
you are like my morphine
only you are keeping me sane
instead of playing make believe

i know its all too good to be true
and its just a matter of time
before you leave and break my heart
i'll watch you go and then be fine
becoming so numb to the ones i love
because i know one day they will leave
whether its out of the house or to heaven above
i cant ever remember what it is i used to believe

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

no matter where i go
the past is so close behind
telling me not to mess up
to get it right this time

no matter what i try to be
you see failure shining through
its so hard to be what i want
when its nothing that i can do

no matter when i show up
you are always never there
cant pretend i dont give a damn
cuz all i can do is care

no matter how i dress or act
you have to critisize me
i dont know why you cant just once
decide to let me be

no matter who you say you are
it doesnt get you very far
to sit and tell me how to live
and thats one thing i cant forgive

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

you look into my eyes
and i swear you see my soul
they are so compassionate
telling me to never let you go
whenever you touch me
it sends a shiver down my spine
and when you hold me closer
we leave everything behind
when it comes to loving you
i give you all ive got
knowing you will take it all
whethter beautiful or not
you know i need you
and so you are there
its almost too perfect
but right now it seems fair/but right now i dont care? which to end with???

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

i fell in love with you
and now im paralyzed
i cant feel whats true
cant avoid your eyes
screaming inside
out of pure frustration
i want you to listen
no need for explination
i'll love you forever
as in eternally
but i cant breathe
unless you let go of me



well thats it, sucked didnt they? yup, thats what i thought. well i gtg laterz. luv, steph